i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
