i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize