i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
