For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
