I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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