how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
