We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize