Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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