Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
