i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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