Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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