i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
