i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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