spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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