Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
