It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
