Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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