Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
