Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
