how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
