okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
