didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
