Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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