That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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