i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
