Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
