I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
