The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
