the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
