Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
