Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
