normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
