Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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