i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
