Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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