if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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