What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
