It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
