Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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