I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Randomize
