laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
