so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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