A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
