Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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