If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
did you just send me my own nude
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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