Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
