I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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