Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
where are my eyebrows?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
