I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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