He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
