Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
