I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
