Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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