You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ok first of all what the fuck
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
