the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
