just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
