I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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