once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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