But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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