I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
