Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
