no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
